March 31st, 2018
You know the old saying a picture is worth a thousand words? Well, I’ve finally found a picture that speaks volumes for me.
I’ve been teaching high school mathematics for 10 years. It began as one of the most rewarding and inspiring jobs of my life. I loved going to work; I loved inspiring students and watching their minds grow. I loved how I was able to show them that mathematics can be beautiful. However, in the last four years, my job has become exhaustingly frustrating, and I find myself questioning why I’m still teaching. But year after year, I return. I keep telling myself, next year will be better; next year will be different. But it never is; it just keeps getting worse.
To start with, the public education system is a joke (at least in my county). I mean – just look at the image above; the 16 – 17 year old student who wrote this lovely note, doesn’t even know the proper use of the words “to” vs. “too”. Chances are, this student isn’t doing very well in his/her classes (by choice). However, he/she will continue to get passed to the next grade level regardless of their failure. Whatever happened to the old days when you would hold a student back for failing? Unfortunately, these days are long-gone. And if you fail, all you need to do is re-take the class online (virtual school) or attend 4 weeks of summer school. So by the time this student enter high school, what does that leave you with?
It leaves you with 15 – 18 year old students who barely know their multiplication tables, who can barely do basic arithmetic, who can barely read or write. Don’t believe me?
- Would you believe me if I told you that I gave my students a math assessment at the beginning of the school year to pinpoint their current skill level, and the average result of the assessment placed my students in the 4th grade?
- Would you believe me if I told you that the reason these high school student pass all these ridiculous high-stakes-tests is due the fact that the state has very low standards (40% is passing!!!)?
- Would you believe me if I told you that a large handful of parents request an unnecessary IEP which gives their child a waver so that students can graduate regardless of passing the state exams?
- Would you believe me if I told you that certain faculty members give out the answers like candy to students who are in danger of not graduating (all for the purpose of making the teacher themselves look good in addition to the schools graduate rate & school grade look better)?
But yet, it’s always the previous teacher’s fault that the students come to you with low skills right?
Wrong. Although our education system does play an important role in student failure, I want you to take a look at this picture again. What else does it tell you? It tells me that this child doesn’t have a great support system at home. It tells me that this child didn’t grow up with a proper parental figure in the home, because if he/she did, then this type of disrespect would never have been scribbled on the assignment. It tells me that this child has a home life in which education is not valued. And yet very few people pay attention to a student’s home situation and how it can positively or negatively affect a student’s success. There are so many people who make snap-judgements on how to fix our failing education system. But I can assure you, a good educational systems begins with supportive families and communities. Or maybe the reason for this note was that the kid was just having a bad day. Now, don’t get me wrong, students do have their good and bad days, and students do make immature and sometimes disrespectful decisions. . However, this type of disrespect doesn’t come from just having a bad day – it comes from a lack of parenting, a lack of ethical values, a lack of appreciation for their education, and a complete disregard for the difference between right and wrong. And sadly, behavior such as this is becoming the new normal, and there isn’t much I can do about it.
I’m sure by now many of you are wondering what I did in regards to disciplining this students; and I’m sure you’d be surprise to learn that I did NOTHING. What the hell, right? Well, first and foremost, the student scratched out his/her name with permanent marker. Second, out of 150 students, only 32 students turned in the assignment (WHAT? Why did only 21% of your students do the assignment? Because only 21% of my students choose to learn on a regular basis. Only 21% of my students actively involve themselves in their education). Therefore, this eliminated the possibility of me being able to use the process of elimination to determine who the student was that wrote this note. And finally (this is the best part), our county has implemented a new discipline program called restorative justice, which allows students to escape any disciplinary action IF the student agrees to a kumbaya session with the dean or counselor, and sometimes the parent(s); in these meetings the student’s will talk about their feelings, how to control their feelings without outbursts, and how to make better judgments in the future.
If you ask me, this sounds more like the parents responsibility; but sense the traditional household support system is falling apart (especially in the community in which I serve), this has now become the school’s job. And due to politics – mainly race – discipline is rarely issued. Race? What does race have to do with it?
Well, our superintendent is trying to reduce the number of referrals (disciplinary action) for Hispanics and African American students. Apparently, Hispanics and African American students are disproportionately disciplined when compared to their white classmates. So unless you were caught with drugs, a weapon, or you get into a physical altercation, disciplinary action is rarely taken. In fact, the last time I sent a student to the office was for a disruptive outburst (“I ain’t fuckin’ takin’ that test”). So how was he disciplined? Well, the dean handed my student an adult coloring book & crayons and allowed him to color until his calmed down. Once he was calm, he returned to class. Would you believe me if I told you that no disciplinary action was issued? No detention, no apology letter, no parental contact. What a joke. So to be perfectly honest, I’ve just stopped writing referrals because they go absolutely nowhere; they rarely get filed or processed, and unless the students has committed a serious offense, disciplinary action doesn’t follow.
So how am I expected to be an effective educator without any discipline and structure in the school system? I don’t even have authority in my own classroom. You may think I have authority when I’m standing in front of a room full of children, but it’s all a facade, and the students know it. Skip class, sleep during a lesson, mouth-off to a teacher, play games on your cell phone, refuse to do their work, distract other students in class; you name it, there are no consequences. And trying to call home doesn’t work when the majority of my students don’t have working phone number. Call me old fashion, but I am a firm believer that the only way for a student to be successful is to have a proper balance of parental support, discipline & structure, and love. Unfortunately, the county in which I work for ties my hands in regards to discipline & structure, and the students/families that I serve lack in parental support, discipline, and love.
This is why I’m ready to leave the teaching profession. After 10 years, I’m ready to throw in the towel. I feel unsuccessful, incompetent, and powerless to change anything. The small impact that I am making just isn’t enough motivation to keep me going. It is utterly exhausting, unfair, and sets a teacher up for failure. No matter what I do, I feel like I’m not making a difference. I have never felt so unfulfilled in my entire career; and due to the lack of county support, lack of parental support, lack of students who desire an education, lack of administrative support, and inability to apply appropriate discipline & structure, I cannot be effective at my job. And as much as I want to love my job again, a little part of me is telling me that I need to leave.
I just wish there was a simple fit. I hear people say: What about switching schools? What about private school? What about virtual school?
- Switching schools within the same county won’t make a difference as long as restorative justice is the discipline policy for this county. I cannot work for a county that ties-my-hands in the classroom when it comes to discipline & structure. It is a recipe for disaster. However, if I can find a school that has strong parental support, then I may not have as many issues as I currently have at my school.
- Switching counties isn’t an option either. The closest county to me pays $5000 less a year in salary and has terrible health insurance (I would have $369.00 deducted from each paycheck for insurance).
- Private school would put me in the same situation as switching counties (low pay & expensive benefits). My husband and did the calculations, and if I switched to a different county (or did private school), I’d be bringing home $8.00 an hour (after paying our babysitter to watch my 3 year old). Currently, I bring home $13.00 an hour (after paying our babysitter).
- Virtual School may still be an option. In fact, I’m currently looking into this. I’m also looking into increasing my class load at Valencia. I’m also looking into starting my own private tutoring business.
Either way, continuing this situation just may not be worth it anymore. Why should I put-up with all of THIS to bring home $13.00 an hour, while having someone else watch my children while I’m at work? You know, the student who wrote me this message did me a favor. He/she captured the reason why I need to leave. So you know what I did? I brought this lovely note home with me and pinned it to the cork board in my home office to serve as an everyday reminder that I deserve more. What “more” is will be determined by the good Lord himself. He knows my heart. He knows I have wonderful things to offer in the word of education – but I am having difficulty seeing how I can continue to serve at my current school.
This image is truly worth a thousand words.
